Viciouspuppy.com|unemployment chronicle

Going back to school after …ahem..14 years is very weird experience. I am sorrounded by young kids who are half of my age and they treat me like their mother.  And I hate to say this but I COULD BE their mother. And weird part of all of this is that a few of these “young kids” are mothers and have kids and I don’t have one.  This facts makes me feel worse, they remind me that I am not young anymore, but it also make me a biological reproductive failuer.

I am learning a lot and 3 more weeks, I can take state tasting. hopefully I can get out of unemployed life soon with this newly learned skills and certificate.

I started going to school to be Certified Nursing Assistant.  CNA does all the stuff nurses don’t have time to do, or don’t want to do. I have learned A LOT in a last few days but this is not like real school.  this is kind of like breakfast club school (I know I am dating myself ).  You just go to class and read your text book, do your work book and watch video. When you feel nice and ready, you go take a test on the chapter on computer.  You do that over and over and over.  For next 5 weeks. And on weekends, you do the clinical at nursing home and hospitals. There are a lot of young kids, I mean 19 to 23 years old and I am there feeling like fossil. One of the girls told me that her mother is my age.  Sigh.

I have been studying really really hard, memorizing “EVERYTHING” in text books and I am finding out test is really easy and I really don’t need to memorize everything.  It is multiple choice and Example of test questions is like this.

When resident is combative, you should

A) kick the resident  from behind and make him/her unconscious

B) punch the resident in a gut

C) Be patient and report the behavior to nurse

D) Put him/her in a choke hold till they pass out

Let me see…… I think the answer is …choke hold?

I am learning a lot despite of somewhat ridiculous tests.

where is my good food?

Ever since I’ve been unemployed, I started to live without a few things here and there.  It has not been too hard, since I only need to support myself and Petey; my dog, the constant companion for the last 15 years.  I don’t think I have lived in anyway extravagant before, so adjusting to live with less has not been that difficult, but it comes to Petey, I still spoiled him. After all, he is my baby.  Well, finally time has come for Petey to face little changes in his life too.  Few days ago, I decided to go without can food for him.  I have been feeding him 1/3^rd of can food on top of his dry food for dinner for last a few years. He LOVES the stuff, but it is extra money out of pocket every week. Since I became unemployed, I was rationing and giving him 1/5^th of can everyday.  Now I am rationing food for myself, back to eating Genetically Modified Foods and ramen noodles here and there, I politely asked Petey if it was OK for him to go without expensive can food for a while.  I thought he agreed but he gives me this look when he sees the dinner bowl without good stuff on top of dry food.  Oh, common….stop looking at me like that.  I am eating ramen noodles too!

I wish ramen noodles were more nutritious and healthy

I wish library DVD movies did not skip so often

I wish cage free chicken is really cage free

I wish my neighbor would stop asking me “You don’t have job yet?”

I wish we could all afford health care

I wish recycled TP is as soft as Charmin

I wish my dog’s tumor would go away miraculously without surgery

I wish I were an alligator, I eat one good meal and don’t need to eat again for 2 years.

I have gone to so many interviews and I get asked this specific question often by interviewer.

“What is your weakness?”

Before I give well-rehearsed standard answer, following run though my head. And I wonder what would happen If I really said these things to interviewer.

“Well, Mr. Johnson, if I am completely honest with myself, my weaknesses is following…not necessary in this particular order.

1. Chai Tea with lots of honey
2. Dark chocolate with nuts
3. Men’s well built biceps and shoulder
4. My buddy Petey (my dog)
5. Internet surfing, lately Hulu.com
6. Earrings
7. Sleeping in
8. Champaign Mango
9. Cristiano Ronaldo
10. Banana with Nutella

Hmmm….4 out 10 things are food items, what does that say about me?  Ok, I have more weakness, but in order to keep this blog PG 13, I won’t go into my “other weakness”.  So, I have not said any of my honest weakness in a interview…ok ok ok, , it is not true. I have actually said number two a few times before, and most of the time I got a little chuckle from interviewer. It is not a bad thing to insert little bit of humor here and there in an interview in my opinion.

Before I forget, my standard answer to the weakness is

“Since I like challenges and also love to help others, I sometimes committ to do more tasks than I can handle.“

But since this standard answer has not gotten me a job yet, maybe it is time to try the honest answer.  What chu think?

I have been unemployed since June, 2009.  I hope I will find a job sometime soon.  In a mean time, I will share my unemployment journey with you though this blog.  I would like to thank Drew and Nikki Beak, for your encouragement to start this new crazy endeavor.